Great Construction
Am I Divine or Human?
There is probably no human being as intriguing as I. It is a certainty that there is no parallel for me in the world since its beginning. The more I think about it, the more I believe that the word “intriguing” is what best describes me. Even when we look at the saints, prophets, and other major religious figures since ancient times, there is not one who is comparable to me. Because there will come a day in the future when any number of people study and critique me, I wish to put into writing as much as possible a record of myself for when that time arrives.
To begin, that which I find most intriguing is I myself because I have just so many mysterious aspects. I would like to explore these aspects from both the subjective and the objective points of view. About these aspects there are things that even people who have known me for many years, many decades do not know. Nay, even my wife does not seem to know. Of course, I am a man of religion, but I do not appear like the founder of a religion such as Shakyamuni or Christ, nor can I believe that I am in any way exceptional. That is because what I am engaged in doing is so encompassing.
Actually, from the time of my youth I never had any thoughts such as those described above. I felt in what only amounted to a vague awareness that in someway I was different from others. At the time, one differing aspect that stood out was that no matter how respected and worshiped famous figures from the past may have been, I could not come to consider them in the same way. That is because I could not believe they were so great that they could not be surpassed. This was not carefully considered nor was it arrogance. It was only a feeling that often welled up naturally from within and rather even made me feel lonely at times. Another unique aspect of my character, is that I have a strong sense of justice and detest evil twice as much as the other person. Many were the times when I really had to work to control the indignation I felt upon reading an article in the newspaper. As a result of trying to come up with ways to reduce evil, what I thought of doing was to start a newspaper. However, at the time it was held that a newspaper could not be published without something over a million yen [4 million in 2020], so I worked hard to try to raise the amount, things did not go as expected, and I failed in a big way. Still, this failure became the motive for my entrance into the world of religion, so my failure turned out to be positive.
I am referring to my joining the Omoto religion. Until then I had been a fanatical atheist, but through Oomoto faith, I was able to truly and profoundly recognize the actuality of God. That is because astonishing miracles manifested around me one after another, and I naturally experienced a complete change of heart. As the days passed, the miracles continued, and I came to the point I received a spiritual revelation about my past, present, and future fates. At the same time, I was given superhuman power, and it became clear that I shoulder the great mission of the salvation of all humanity. In all this, one phenomenon that I thought strange was that some great entity was manipulating me, step by step leading me through miracles to understand the actuality of the world of God. The joy that welled up from within at that time was so much, there was nothing I could do. My mental state was of inexpressible feelings subtle or profound.
Moreover, the miracles did not stop and there were curious and fascinating occurrences. I cannot remember how many times a day my heart danced. The biggest miracle of them all was that which occurred in the year of the death of the Taisho Emperor, that is, the unique event that occurred in December of the fifteenth year of Taisho [1926].
An Account of Myself, unpublished, 1952
translated by cynndd* * *
“Watakushi wa Kami ka Hito ka” is part of the unfinished manuscript for a volume that Meishu-sama was planning for publication to be titled Watakushi Monogatari (“My Tale”). Although never published while Meishu-sama was alive, the manuscripts that are thought to belong to what Meishu-sama envisioned are dated 1952. “Watakushi wa Kami ka Hito ka,” however, was read at meetings with members on November 15, 16, and 17, 1953, but was never published in the periodicals as essays that were read at meetings often were. If the composition of “Watakushi wa Kami ka Hito ka” followed Meishu-sama’s known writing process, it was probably written soon beforehand. If “Watakushi wa Kami ka Hito ka” does indeed belong to Watakushi Monogatari as envisioned by Meishu-sama, it shows that Meishu-sama was still contemplating publishing the volume as late as November 1953. In his introductions to the reading of the essay, however, Meishu-sama never mentioned Watakushi Monogatari directly, although at the meeting on November 17, he did speak at length on the contents of the essay, also mentioning that he had been thinking of the writing on the topic for a long time. Perhaps an indirect reference to Watakushi Monogatari? “Watakushi wa Kami ka Hito ka” has appeared in translation. Citation is given below for reference.
“An Account of Myself, A Divine or an Ordinary Being?” The Light from the East, Volume 2, page 253, 1986.